*does something cringy* *sighs*

Poets are like fields, some days we bloom all at once.

Does it Rhythm?

Do you jest or gibe that at your behest we ingest the duress of iambic distress? – It’s like breathing, … More

Two tong

She was round and she was heavy and she was never going to escape And hundreds of thousands of lives … More

Third Person

“Do you even third person bro?,” They said. “Ustedes.”

“You’re impossible.” “Was that not throughly established?”

Family

All the men in my family are threatened by strong women except for my uncle, who was probably too busy … More

Woooo-wooooo

Saw Neil Gaiman tonight! Cried on the train. I am on the train. Two notes. Neil Gaiman says “Write to … More

I’ll be the one in the green hoodie in the closet. 

“May I see your ID ma’am?” *makes dial up connection noise* “You know what nevermind.”  

People would beat my ass if they found out how I was living. In a very small room with a bed … More

“Whelp, better sell this cow before it runs out of milk,” said the cow. “I won’t buy you,” said the … More

Everyone’s like hey did you get a new pet? And I gotta be like, no I just like pictures of cats.

This is Related

This is related. This is unrelated. This is a banana. What category does banana fit into? Unrelated.

A Night to Remember

At work a child tries to feed me a “poopsicle.” I accepted a ride from a friend’s brother and eat … More

Excerpt: Night Walk

I had an interesting conversation with my boss. I asked him what his seventh deadly sin would be, the worst … More

Concerned Family member: Please keep your anxious lover away from medication Polymath: Wait, how do I say this nicely, no

Again

“Will you be mine Dear Will you be mine?” Sexual facade. The inception of life can be essentially worthless – … More

Everyone: So how’s life going? Me: I just vaccumed up a sock Everyone: Again? Me: Yeah. But it was my … More

“What did you have for breakfast?” “A bowl of squash.” “Seriously?” “Would I lie to you?” “Yes.” “Correct. Still, had … More

When your best friend from middle school admits his undying love for you on your birthday-anniversary of your dead cat … More

Fuck me right?

“How am I being passive aggressive?” She asked passive aggressively.