I live at home. And it’s kind of fucked When twenty percent of income isn’t enough With military spending we’re…

Smolder in me Let me show you where I am like tulips Here on this hip I am like hornets…

“You’re impossible.” “Was that not throughly established?”

It was you, who threw sticks and slung stones  You, concerned now? At the sight of bones?

*gets overwhelmed by trying to order chinese food* *starts to cry*

He wouldn’t like it if you could summarize him in a sentence.

To be clear we’ve elected Zaphod Beeblebrox’s evil twin.

There is some inconclusive evidence that I have been known to wear pants.

Has anyone ever been so depressed that they’d buy Hamilton Tickets (yes plural) and not go, or is it just…

Strong Women go “GRRrawr”

*takes anti-anxiety meds* *Time* *Starts crying* Sigh. Right. This is how this works.

Can Trump and Putin just bang already?

Woooo-wooooo

Saw Neil Gaiman tonight! Cried on the train. I am on the train. Two notes. Neil Gaiman says “Write to…

I stomp around the corridors of my mind. I yell. I bang pots and pans. I was here first! The…

I think you, and I am bound somewhere I think “you.”, and I abound.

*spotify starts to play metal* Why do I feel like I’m standing in Hot Topic

Common sense doesn’t have a lot to say when love is in the room – just things like “Get out!”…

No Man’s land but Mine

A struggle for all, or a struggle for none! Propriety was never my style. Derisive division, have You made a decision?…

5:49 am Me to body: WHAT DO YOU WANT Body: Omg. We’ve been over this. 

5:49 am Me to body: WHAT DO YOU WANT Body: Omg. We’ve been over this. 

Humanity: How are you? Me: I watched a ten year old take a shit, and Monsters inc

Body: Wake up Me:…zzzzzt Body: Wake up Me: what Body: No more sleep Me: Jesus is it four am Body:…

Depression: What’s wrong? How pathetic you are? 

Me: What would make, I, -full name- feel better Self: Draw angry faces on your toes. Me: 

Me: I can’t tell if I’m under or overstimulated Self: Do push ups Me: This is why we have problems

11.03.16

“If only I could get rid of my daughter.” 

Today’s top story: Wet and smelly dog makes other things wet and smell

I want to help you help yourself by not helping you. 

I’ll be the one in the green hoodie in the closet. 

“May I see your ID ma’am?” *makes dial up connection noise* “You know what nevermind.”  

Reason Seven

  “Where does your heart want to call home?” Ugh. Now I have to go to Europe and chase a…

It took eight months, but as of 4 am I no longer take my break up personally.   Oh thank…

Miss Lucy had some sea shells And a steam boat by the shore and when she lost the bottom It…

People would beat my ass if they found out how I was living. In a very small room with a bed…

If you’re me you probably spend a lot of time worrying and feeling depressed and anxious. But hey at least you will…

It’s not the yellows of September  which color me or the blue coattails of a rusty dusk but that the…

In the past I have been able to kind disappear out of people’s lives without making it seem personal. I…

Here, a life lesson Don’t take boys out to dinner Mom doesn’t like you

End Note

For what it’s worth – Your love won’t last Flowers are contexual Let me know if you want to get…

Love note

Kitty kitty kitty can’t you see Sometimes your eyes just hypnotise me And I just love your kitty ways Toxoplasmosis…

I find it quite comforting to know I am trapped in a linear progression.

I’m afraid where I live has failed the “safe for women who don’t want to be approached in public spaces…

I’ve got a heart on the right side babe. No I’m kidding it’s on the left.

“Whelp, better sell this cow before it runs out of milk,” said the cow. “I won’t buy you,” said the…

Me: Since I hate myself, might as well start doing insanity again.

Everyone’s like hey did you get a new pet? And I gotta be like, no I just like pictures of cats.

Father:…Between getting your period, being about to get your period I only get four days of sanity from you. C.A.R.S.K…

Sorry homeless Portland dude – I don’t go with hippies to second locations. #lifelessons #30rock

​Love like god is a favorite dream. Write it down. Throw it out. Drink the ink. Look forward to when…

Wedged myself between a row of trees and a chain length fence so I can cry in private. Tomorrow I…

On why I don’t believe in sleeping with people in closed relationships: Someone has loved them enough to say, “You.…

The last few petals of the flower plucked by an unquestioning hand

This is a Sign

Signs that You’re Probably Not over Your Ex You’ve cried about it recently You wake up dressed in a Kimono There’s…

You know your anti depressants may not be working when: You refuse to let yourself listen to Sarah Mclachlan  on…

This is Related

This is related. This is unrelated. This is a banana. What category does banana fit into? Unrelated.

The dog has successfully chewed all of my high heeled shoes. Except he’d probably call them “foot clothes,” and now…

Stranger: So what made you want to take up biking? Me: I wasn’t catching enough Pokémon on foot. Stranger: What…

A Night to Remember

At work a child tries to feed me a “poopsicle.” I accepted a ride from a friend’s brother and eat…

Excerpt: Night Walk

I had an interesting conversation with my boss. I asked him what his seventh deadly sin would be, the worst…

Polymath: I want the thing Polymath *if socially acceptable*: Hey everyone I want the thing Polymath *if applicable*: You’re not…

Concerned Family member: Please keep your anxious lover away from medication Polymath: Wait, how do I say this nicely, no

Dog: It’s three am and I smell like swamp and dead things Dog: Let me on your bed Dog -uncontrollable…

Again

“Will you be mine Dear Will you be mine?” Sexual facade. The inception of life can be essentially worthless –…

Destroy your emotions and achieve your final form. #deadbody #thisoneisnotmine #whydoyouhaveadeadbody #askedyoufirst

Brain: Want to think meloncoly thoughts about your ex? Nope. I’m gonna take a walk Brain: Last nights dream. About…

Stickers

Me: Maybe you don’t have to put this sticker on anything Myself: I’m putting this sticker on the floor Me:What…

Everyone: So how’s life going? Me: I just vaccumed up a sock Everyone: Again? Me: Yeah. But it was my…

Sometimes I just want to lock everyone I know in a room and say: “Read these books, and those series.…

How do you spell hffffffffffffycydtc jfdtffjjjjfrhdtsington?

“What did you have for breakfast?” “A bowl of squash.” “Seriously?” “Would I lie to you?” “Yes.” “Correct. Still, had…

Internal Monologues

Child: If I walk with this pizza crust out dogs will follow me around Me: Same Follow up: I just described…

DisMay

The weather is 46° with a chance of fuck off are you serious