Annnnnnnnd yoga

I have a stalker. I don’t want a stalker. I want my ex boyfriend. I have set a bad example.…

*does something cringy* *sighs*

I’m glad my dog can lick his butthole because you’ve got to have a trade off for hands.

People are like snakes. So I don’t undestand them. And sometimes they bite. …yes I do

Describing Everything

A thief, a liar, or a scholar “Everything important is invisible,” I see I am already dirt and words And…

Poets are like fields, some days we bloom all at once.

I would like to be somewhere else.

Does it Rhythm?

Do you jest or gibe that at your behest we ingest the duress of iambic distress? – It’s like breathing,…


I think the simulator’s broken. My broken heart keeps manifesting as a 5” 1′ Jewish girl.

Two tong

She was round and she was heavy and she was never going to escape And hundreds of thousands of lives…

“Didn’t anyone tell you you can’t make homes out of people?” “What is family then?”

Body Braiin

Body: I don’t want to drink, or eat, or sleep. Let’s lay still for hours. Are you trying to kill…

Watch the Auto store

“This heart is broken, fix it.” “Ma’am this is an auto-” “Broken. Fix it.” The old man sighed and put…

Third Person

“Do you even third person bro?,” They said. “Ustedes.”

42 Ways to Fall Asleep

To love and know it is not enough, To plant seeds you will forget to water Try to go back…


I love the impossible, with stupid reckless abandon. I love running at it screaming “YOU’RE IMPOSSIBLE,” trying to push it…

Fishes, fishes

“I’ve an old wives tales” “Yes that’s very good but you see I’ve got a young wife.”

Another notebook

“Please come late, so that I have almost given up and have started glancing around the room, thinking everyone is…

I’ll take the high road for 500.

*makes a new friend who steals stuff* Polymath: This is fine.

I would say I will suffer a fool no longer but I’d have to die.

I think therefore I am, I screw Therefore we are.


Smolder in me Let me show you where I am like tulips Here on this hip I am like hornets…

“You’re impossible.” “Was that not throughly established?”

It was you, who threw sticks and slung stones  You, concerned now? At the sight of bones?

*gets overwhelmed by trying to order chinese food* *starts to cry*

He wouldn’t like it if you could summarize him in a sentence.

To be clear we’ve elected Zaphod Beeblebrox’s evil twin.

There is some inconclusive evidence that I have been known to wear pants.

Has anyone ever been so depressed that they’d buy Hamilton Tickets (yes plural) and not go, or is it just…


All the men in my family are threatened by strong women except for my uncle, who was probably too busy…

*takes anti-anxiety meds* *Time* *Starts crying* Sigh. Right. This is how this works.

Can Trump and Putin just bang already?


[Looks down at sleeveless shirt]


“Well, girl, it appears your clothes are getting holes in them again.”

“You’ve had that shirt for twelve years.”

(Defensively) “I know how getting holes works.”


Saw Neil Gaiman tonight! Cried on the train. I am on the train. Two notes. Neil Gaiman says “Write to…

I stomp around the corridors of my mind. I yell. I bang pots and pans. I was here first! The…

I think you, and I am bound somewhere I think “you.”, and I abound.

*spotify starts to play metal* Why do I feel like I’m standing in Hot Topic

No Man’s land but Mine

A struggle for all, or a struggle for none! Propriety was never my style. Derisive division, have You made a decision?…

5:49 am Me to body: WHAT DO YOU WANT Body: Omg. We’ve been over this. 

5:49 am Me to body: WHAT DO YOU WANT Body: Omg. We’ve been over this. 

Humanity: How are you? Me: I watched a ten year old take a shit, and Monsters inc

Body: Wake up Me:…zzzzzt Body: Wake up Me: what Body: No more sleep Me: Jesus is it four am Body:…

Depression: What’s wrong? How pathetic you are? 

Me: What would make, I, -full name- feel better Self: Draw angry faces on your toes. Me: 

Me: I can’t tell if I’m under or overstimulated Self: Do push ups Me: This is why we have problems


“If only I could get rid of my daughter.” 

Today’s top story: Wet and smelly dog makes other things wet and smell

I want to help you help yourself by not helping you. 

I’ll be the one in the green hoodie in the closet. 

“May I see your ID ma’am?” *makes dial up connection noise* “You know what nevermind.”  

Reason Seven

  “Where does your heart want to call home?” Ugh. Now I have to go to Europe and chase a…

It took eight months, but as of 4 am I no longer take my break up personally.   Oh thank…

Miss Lucy had some sea shells And a steam boat by the shore and when she lost the bottom It…

People would beat my ass if they found out how I was living. In a very small room with a bed…

If you’re me you probably spend a lot of time worrying and feeling depressed and anxious. But hey at least you will…

It’s not the yellows of September  which color me or the blue coattails of a rusty dusk but that the…

In the past I have been able to kind disappear out of people’s lives without making it seem personal. I…

Here, a life lesson Don’t take boys out to dinner Mom doesn’t like you

End Note

For what it’s worth – Your love won’t last Flowers are contexual Let me know if you want to get…

Love note

Kitty kitty kitty can’t you see Sometimes your eyes just hypnotise me And I just love your kitty ways Toxoplasmosis…

I find it quite comforting to know I am trapped in a linear progression.

I’m afraid where I live has failed the “safe for women who don’t want to be approached in public spaces…